Hanging in there

The lack of posts last week is a bad sign. When I'm not doing well I don't have much to say. I struggled last week with my health, and my emotions. The scale showed it. I was up 1 pound from the prior week. I still haven't been back to the gym, but at least I was back on my diet today. I don't know what my funk was from, but thankfully I'm back to myself. Thanks for checking on me!! I'm back in the game!! Hopefully I will be back in the gym tomorrow too!!

Now I need to go and catch up on everyone's blogs! I've missed everyone!

Weigh In

Well, I lost a pound. That really really really stinks though, because this was the week I busted my butt in the gym. Just goes to show you that you have to be doing well eating, and exercising to post good numbers! You can't do REALLY crappy in one and great in the other!

It's another week. No birthday parties this week. It's on!

A setback

After going to the gym last night instead of hitting the bar, and eating my usual breakfast this morning, instead of the fresh donuts in the office kitchen, I had a setback. I had a turkey sandwich in the fridge ready for lunch, but couldn't turn down a trip to the local pizza buffet when asked.

Usually I am even very on plan at the restaurant. They have a wonderful salad bar, and I load up on veggies, egg whites, etc. But today, I wanted none of it. I wanted PIZZA. I didn't have as much as I could have, but I left after eating 2 slices of "Cheese stick" type pizza, a piece of cheeseburger pizza, and a small piece of a thin crust olive pizza. Oh and a piece of dessert pizza. I don't know what is wrong with me. Why can't I have it all working at the same time? I am doing well in the gym but probably consumed well over 1000 calories at lunch today.

I'm so tired of doing this to myself. I wonder if there are any chances of losing weight this week? I sure hope so.

Happy Saint Patrick's Day!!

Instead of doing the usual tonight (Drinking Green Beer) and having junk food, I will be heading to the gym after work. I can't believe I just said that. It doesn't sound like something I would say! HAHA. Have a great one guys!

A great day

 There is no other way to describe it. I have had an awesome day. Even though I'm working long hours right now, they aren't as long as they were a couple of weeks ago. I accomplished a lot at work today. I ate healthy all day, and even worked through my morning snack without thinking about it. Then I headed to the gym after work.

As I have said before, I've been very guilty of not working out as hard as I should be, even when I go to the gym several days per week. Well tonight, I think I finally broke my bad streak! I was on the elliptical machine for the first 15 minutes I was there, and burned 170 calories doing that. Then we moved to the treadmill. My friend stopped after 30 minutes, but Biggest Loser was on, and I didn't want to miss anything. I decided I was going to make it to 500 calories. This is the amount of calories that my doctor actually told me to burn when I was working out, I've just never done it! I did it!!! Over 1 hour of cardio, and burned 500 calories!! Woo hoo!!!

I am feeling GREAT! Ate a healthy supper, and finished watching Biggest Loser. I'm just hoping I can get out of bed tomorrow!!

Until then...

Recovering

Well I survived my birthday. My husband and friends actually threw me a surprise party last night. I overindulged in a lot of ways! But the crazy thing is, I'm not "hungover" today in the practical sense. I'm feeling the worst because of the crap I ate yesterday. It's crazy that a month ago, yesterday would have been a regular day of eating, but after giving my body better foods for a month, a night of crap going in to my body just isn't what it wants. That's a big realization for me to make.

One of my favorite gifts of the night last night was a really cute insulated cup. I will have that sucker with me at all times from now on with ice water. I can do this.

Week 4

Well I'm enjoying myself at work right now while everyone else is off having fun, or better yet, sleeping! HAHA. But there are a couple of great things about today. #1, I just weighed in and have lost another 2 pounds! Yep, that makes 11 total in 4 weeks. #2, Today is my birthday! Because of this, I'm not tracking today. My office has a tradition that you bring birthday treats to share with everyone on your birthday, so I brought turtle bars. I had 2 for breakfast. I'm going to eat what I want today, and not feel guilty. I might even have a few glasses of wine tonight. I will be 100% back on track tomorrow though.

Does anyone else need days like that? If I try to be 100% all the time, I will burn out and give up. If I allow myself some wiggle days, I do much better I think. Hopefully the scale next week won't reflect my birthday choices! HAHA.

Things I've done well this week:

1. Went to the gym 4 times(and actually pushed myself pretty hard
2. Tracked every bite of food that has gone into my mouth on Sparkpeople.com
3. Upped my protein intake, and decreased my carbs.

Things to improve on

1. Getting my water in every day. I struggled with this a few days this week.
2. Eating more natural foods. I need to incorporate more fruits and vegetables in my diet.
3. Start some light weight training at the gym. I'm only doing cardio right now.

11 pounds... I'm SOOOO excited!

The future

I went to the gym again last night. This was a huge accomplishment for me, because my gym partner was sick and backed out on me. Any other time I've been attempting the "workout thing," I would have used this as a great opportunity to go home and curl up with my puppies on the couch to watch tv. But I didn't do that. I made my husband bring me my gym bag that I had forgotten and headed to the gym after work. I might have only done a 30 minute cardio workout, but that was 30 minutes that I wasn't sedentary!

I am actually starting to feel good. I attempted a little bit of jogging last night. I am attempting to get going on the Couch to 5K program, slowly but surely. I ran 3 intervals of 60 seconds last night. I quit the intervals when my shins were absolutely killing me, but I kept power walking. I expected to wake up extremely sore, but I feel great today.

I'm so ready to do this. I'm ready to be the new me. The thin me. The former fat girl. It's a foreign, but completely inspiring and exciting thought. I really can't "picture" myself at my goal weight, but I can picture myself as a healthy, happy woman. My husband and I are dying to have kids, and my weight I have no doubt is directly affecting my fertility. Is it possible that if I get this weight off I will get pregnant? Without fertility treatments? That is a question I intend to answer. And soon! We aren't getting any younger.

Wow. I didn't intend for this post to be this deep. I'm just so inspired today for some reason. Here's to tomorrow. :)

Survived the weekend

Well I made it through the weekend. It's a good thing I work as much as I do, or I think the scale would suffer. I seem to have far less will power at home than I do at work! I guess it's boredom.

After my good weigh in on Saturday I got off work and picked up the ingredients for a healthy black bean soup for dinner, and headed home to enjoy the sunshine a little bit. I put the soup in the crockpot for supper, and headed outside. I cleaned out my nasty car, and just enjoyed the fresh air. I really should have taken a walk, but didn't. I ate the soup with my hubby before he headed for work, then headed to a friends to see their new house.

Yesterday i was home all day. I did manage to make it to town for a 45 minute cardio workout, and to the grocery store. Unfortunately, I got an unhealthy meal to make. But it was yummy and my husband loved it! We had french dips and fries. I guess when you consider used to would go back for seconds on everything on my plate, it wasn't too bad! I also took out about 50% of the inside of my bread before I made a sandwich. That had to help, right?

I also had dessert last night. When I was a teenager, my mom did some kind of weight loss program through church, and one of the recipes that she always made on that program was called "Chocolate Eclair Dessert." I always loved it! I found it by accident the other day online, so I made some. It's not THAT bad calorie wise, but I still didn't need it. It sure was yummy though! And my picky hubby even liked it! That's saying something. He hears low calorie or lite and he turns up his nose.

Today is my monthly check in at the doctor. My regular doctor has a weight loss clinic that you can see a nutrionist, weigh in monthly, etc. I've been doing this for a while now, but the past 2 times I've gone, I had gained. The nurse practioner told me that if I hadn't lost significantly this appointment (Today's) that she was going to recommend I postpone the program until i found my motivation. There was one week between the last time I went and when I started biggest loser. I'm terrified that I gained enough that week that my 9 pounds I have lost in the last 3 weeks aren't enough to make her happy.

I don't really even know why I'm that concerned to stay in the program. When we started, they gave me Phentermine and Metformin. The Metformin I take anyway because of my PCOS. The Phentermine was a great appetite suppressant at first, but literally does nothing for me now. I hardly ever take it. If I wasn't in this program, I could just start going back to my OBGYN and get back on a Metformin treatment. Maybe I should just check into that regardless of what happens with today's appointment. I just like it that they are setting the calories I need to eat a day, and the exercise calories burned. I feel like it takes the pressure off of me!

Cross your fingers for me. I don't want to be "the person" that gets kicked out of the fat doctor!!

Update:  Just got back from the doctor. From one month ago today, I have lost 8 pounds. I will probably agree with that. I "fattened up" knowing I was starting the biggest loser! Yippee!!!

Weigh in Day

Well I love weigh-in day this week! I'm down another 2.4 pounds. That means that in the 3 weeks we've been doing this, I've lost 9 pounds! I'll take it! I'm still not winning the challenge though. I really need to get serious about my gym trips. The great thing is that another girl from work is going to join the gym next week. That way I'll be meeting my friend on Mondays and Thursdays, and I will go with the girl from work on Tuesdays and Wednesdays!! That should get things moving!

Pre-Weigh In Thoughts

Well, I finally worked out last night. I did 30 minutes on the elliptical. Not as much as I had planned, but definitely had a great sweat by the end of the workout. I am either going to go back to town when my husband goes to work tonight, or do a Biggest Loser Wii workout. I need to do a "Last Chance Workout" before tomorrow's weigh in! I am really curious to see what the scale will say tomorrow. I always kind of look forward to Saturday's, but dread them at the same time. I usually feel better once we weigh though.

Wish me luck! Hopefully i won't need it though.

Need some motivation

I wish someone would just come and drag me off of my couch at night and get me moving. I work long hours this time a year (55 hours a week) and when I get home I'm ready to do nothing. The days I go work out with a friend I do that immediately after work, so that works out. But on the days when I am rushing home to see my husband for the 30 minutes I see him a night when we are both working, I have a hard time going back to the gym or turning on the Wii Fit. Last night I did absolutely nothing. I ate supper and picked up the kitchen with plans to watch Lost and then turn on Wii fit afterwards. What did I do? I started messing with the computer. I should have all of the motivation in the world, with the gut I have going on. But as much as I want to lose weight, it’s never enough.


At least I am eating well this week. I am not sucking at both aspects of my weight loss journey. My next weigh in is Saturday. My goal before then is to exercise daily. I am going to do Wii fit for 30 minutes tonight. (Biggest loser game) I am going to the gym tomorrow with my gym buddy (45 minutes of cardio) and 30 minutes of the biggest loser Wii game on Friday night. I will also be 100% on my diet plan until then. I want to see a big loss this week on the scale. I've fallen to second place in the % of weight loss for our competition, and I'm behind a girl that started at 160 pounds. That is ridiculous. I CAN DO THIS!

Monday Recap

To be a Monday yesterday, the day wasn't really to bad! I ate within my calorie ranges all day, and went to the gym. Unfortunately, I didn't stay too long. The girl that I meet on Mondays and Thursdays had been there a while when i got there and was leaving about 15 minutes after I arrived. We worked on the ellipticals for 15 minutes (The absolute max that I can do on that torture device right now) and then when she left I was going to walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes. Unforunately at 6:30 on Monday nights our gym is VERY busy. Every one of their treadmills was full and there were people waiting to get on them. So I decided I was just going to go home.

I hate this attitude that I have had lately. I want to lose weight. I am putting in the work with my diet (for the most part), but I just can't get it together with exercise. I read a post yesterday at Off the Couch where Kristina was talking about pushing past the point where you start sweating or when it starts to hurt a little. Even though I read that and completely agreed, it still wasn't something I could start doing last night. How do I get past this point?

Sunday...that's my fun day

I have an extreme love/hate relationship with weekends. I work 6 days a week right now, so I really get one full day off a week. This week we spent the day with my in-laws who took us to a neighboring town for lunch. To my FAVORITE Mexican restaurant. I haven't been there since I was in college, so I indulged and got my favorite meal there. Sweet Tea and all. It was delicious, but I was so full. I don't know why I can't stop when I'm full and not make it a painful experience. I really really need to work on that. I did much better for the rest of my meals, but certainly didn't get enough water in. I think I'm going to start documenting my meals here, just so I can see them easier.

2 scrambled eggs with 1 piece fat free cheese
Pechuga Frita (Grilled chicken breast with onions, mushrooms, and cheese Sauce)
Refried Beans
Mexican Rice
Chips & Salsa
Sweet tea (At least 2.5 glasses)
Grilled Chicken Breast sandwich for supper with fat free cheese and fat free mayo
small baked potato with spray butter and a tsp of low fat sour cream
banana

Not the best day by any means, but at least the other two meals weren't horrible. Today is another day!